"I'm not a rangeboy, I'm a rangebear."
The
story
Pete's fun bear facts
Mistakes, points of interest and cross references
The people behind Rangeboy
Pete's Dad gives him the job of rangeboy (known in Latin as Dorkus Horribilus), at his Mighty Bear golf driving range, collecting the golf balls in his System 6000 Rangemobile for a measly $3.50 an hour. Rangeboys are the lowest forms of life on Earth, even amoebas speak down to them and this is why Pete doesn't want anybody to know that he's collecting golf balls as his Summer job. Norm Scrumpkin, a previous Rangeboy had to move away and have cosmetic surgery when people found out he was a rangeboy and Pete doesn't want the same happening to him. But at the same time doesn't want to hurt his Dad's feelings by quitting the job. So instead, he comes up with the master plan of disguising himself as a bear to do his driving range duties.
Whilst this is going on, Little Pete is trying to train Artie to win the annual long ball contest. Despite being able to hit the ball 300003 metres into the next state, his loose grip threatens to get Artie thrown out the driving range. No sooner has Pete sorted this problem by taping the club to Artie's hands, than Artie gives Clark, an old friend who just so happens to be a turtle, amnesia. Other Wellsville residents are also training for the contest, Endless Mike, with his new visualisation technique, and Teddy Foresman and Busdriver Stu who are both trying to overcome personal problems.
After persuading Dad to let him use the bear disguise using an old Gentle Ben episode in his favour, Big Pete continues his job as a rangebear with everyone, including Endless Mike, totally unaware that it's Pete hidden inside the costume. His plan is working like a dream. However the bear soon becomes a big attraction to the driving range. Especially when some frustrated hunters wander into the area and see Pete as a way of breaking their duck. The fact that they pay double for a bucket of balls to hit the bear inspires Little Pete's money making plan: the bag the bear contest. People can't resist the "the sheer unadulterated good time fun of beating a bear". The winner of the contest gets a cash prize and the chance to unmask Mr Bear and with his identity threatened Pete decides to bail before the bag the bear final. However when he sees Dad and Little Pete come under fire by a shower of golf balls courtesy of the angry crowd because of Mr Bears no show, he dons the suit for one last time.
At this point Artie has decided that the only way to give Clark his memory back is to hit him with a golf ball again: everything else has failed and Clark still has no recollection of himself, Artie, Hemmingway and Gertrude Stein in the bobsled in Dusseldorf. With Pete seemingly invincible on the driving range, the ball Artie hits Clark with, ricochets around the course beforehitting Pete and sending him flying. But more importantly Clark has his memory back and Artie leaves without unmasking Mr Bear. However Pete does the honourable thing for all bears everywhere and does it himself, leaving the bears of Wellsville extinct once more.
- The last Bear in Wellsville died choking on a baloni and cheese sandwich.
- A bear can eat his own weight in trout.
- A bear was once nearly elected into the House of Representatives.
- Wellsville used to be inhabited by grizzly bears whose Latin name is Ursus Horribilis.
- Bears favourite past times include scarfing salmon and protecting their young.
Mistakes, Points of Interest and Cross References
- Ray, the hunter, is the same person who plays Fred Hurley (he of hemerroid fame) in Hard Day's Pete and Nightcrawlers.
- The woman who goes to the driving range with her daughter is the perfect Mom from King of the Road (but the daughter is not the same).
- When Big Pete is about to crash into the tree in his rangemobile, he jumps away from it. However in the outside shot, when he lands, he is rolling towards the rangemobile.
- Big Pete has trouble keeping his balance when dancing away from the golf balls.
- When Clark is revived, Artie says to him, "No, I'm driving this time". However in both Farewell My Viking Episodes it is stressed that Artie does not travel in cars: he hates them
- Dad says about Artie, "I don't care if he is a mutant...". This is the only ever thing that is said that might explain Artie's super hero abilities.
- True to his favourite saying, Artie uses a pipe instead of a golf club in the bag a bear contest.
| Mike Maronna - Big Pete | Hardy Rawls - Dad |
| Danny Tamberelli - Little Pete | Toby Huss - Artie |
| Alison Fanelli - Ellen | Rick Gomez - Endless Mike |
| Dave Martel - Teddy Foresman | Damien Young - Stu Benedict |
| Frank Gifford as himself | Written by - Will McRobb and Rick Groel |
"Smooth boy, power driving smoooth"